Friday, October 3, 2008

NötléCrew Goalie Lesson #5 : How to remind your opponent to keep his head up during a shootout

Just remember.. young goalies... for full effect, have a seeing-eye dog ready on the bench to drag your blind ass around the ice also

Happy Oktoberfest ! Get yo Drink ON !!!

So what if this photo was taken in July.... it is now October and I'm more fit than ever at 142 pounds!! Cheers

So this chick you dig only date musicians ?!

OK, apparently, this thing call the Theremin has been around for ages... and it looks absolutely ridiculous... now that you have mastered the Retard hand... practice on trying to bite your own left ear at the same time...

The theremin was invented in 1919 by a Russian physicist named Lev Termen (his name was later changed to Leon Theremin). Today, this marvelous instrument is once again in the musical spotlight.

Besides looking like no other instrument, the theremin is unique in that it is played without being touched. Two antennas protrude from the theremin - one controlling pitch, and the other controlling volume. As a hand approaches the vertical antenna, the pitch gets higher. Approaching the horizontal antenna makes the volume softer. Because there is no physical contact with the instrument, playing the theremin requires precise skill and perfect pitch.

In the early 1920's, Leon Theremin came to the United States to promote his invention. He was given a studio to work in, and he trained several musicians to help bring the theremin into the public eye. Then, in 1938, Leon Theremin was taken back to the Soviet Union by force, leaving behind his studio, friends, business, and his wife. After a stay in a prison camp, Leon Theremin reportedly worked for the KGB designing among other things, the "bug" and methods for cleaning up noisy audio recordings.

Heavy head on Boston Terrier = Water dish wipeout

Dogs are so dumb...

Take me there, I wanna heart attack there, Take me there, Let's die there....

Take me to that great place with blood clogs and nurses....
Heart Attack Grill ... I once had "the HULK's burger" at Knight & Day and thought it was ridiculous... man..... look at those waitresses uniforms... Daddy can't be more proud, moving up from Hooters !

I am Woman, hear me Laugh... like a complete psycho that I am... and scare the neighbours away

Honey, I'm glad that you are doing exercise and all... but promise me that I won't be seeing you flying around on a broom before 8:30 tonight... thank you

Thursday, October 2, 2008

PG-18 swimming pool

It's 2:34pm, and Rodney is steaming mad sitting in the hotel pool... still not getting over the fact that everyone repeatedly refered to him as "Dickhead" even though he was clearly the nicest person during the whole conference.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Geminis = Two faced bastards !

Although sometimes lazy at the job, the regional manager always had doubts about the accusations towards Bob being a "two faced" individual. Upon the their first face to face meeting for the annual performance evaluation, Bob was let go immediately.

Lil' Bill O'Reilly weights in on the important issues

Oh god... I wish Lil' O'Reilley has a daily talk show... I'd pay money to watch it !

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

NHL - WTF news of the day : Goalies can be captains now !

OK... WTF... The Vancouver Canucks named goaltender Roberto Luongo as their new captain on Tuesday. NHL rules prevent Luongo from wearing the "C" on his jersey because he's a goalie, but the club is permitted to designate the netminder as their captain.... the thing is... captains' main duties are to be the person that communicates to the referees (but goalies are not allowed to skate to the centre ice between whistles or even during the game)... and also it is a captain's job to take ceremonial bull shit faceoffs... how's Luongo gonna do that... and to top it all off.. he's not allowed to wear the "C" on his jersey. Umm... NHL is really going to be strange this year... The Swedish conehead at the age of 37 isn't accepting a $20 million dollars / 2 years contract.... and the Best goalie in the league is a overweight Fatso (Marty Brodeur) with skinny ass legs... ??!?!?? Weird...

HARDCORE - (having an extreme dedication to a certain activity)

Alternative spellings

[edit] Adjective

hardcore (comparative more hardcore, superlative most hardcore)

  1. Having an extreme dedication to a certain activity; diehard.
    He's a hardcore gamer.
  2. Resistant to change.
  3. Obscene or explicit.
  4. (pornography) Of or pertaining to pornography that depicts penetration.
  5. (music) Faster or more intense than the regular style.

Internal Memo : Casual Friday - Officially cancelled

Thomas has single handedly ruined Casual Friday for everyone else at the office...

Where is me's cheeseburger ?!!

Gangsta Cat doesn't give a rat's ass bout' yo problems ! Just get him outta this bath and give him his Cheeseburger before he slit yo throat tonight...

Monday, September 29, 2008

Billy Bob's new red truck is... sssuuuwwweetttt !!

It's awways nayce t'knows yer betterr than somewon aylse...

Bum of the day #5 - I miss summer !

This bum's the reason for the tear.. drops on my guitar..... the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star....

(Insert your Michael Jackson joke here) ... soaps

When was the last time someone had to go through a FBI background check before being able to purchase soap ? .... Never ? well....

We Don't Have to Take our ... Clothes Off... to have a Good Time... Oh NO

The problem with 80s fashion and dancing is that you can't really tell whether one is gay or not... the biggest flamer at today's standard could be the hottest piece of meat according to the ladies...
Speaking of the Ladies Man'... look at him.... I bet you even HIS boyfriend calls him a queer.

Notlé Crew Fastfood Community Update : McDonalds Monopoly is BACK !

Dès le mardi 7 octobre 08' ! Le jeu MONOPOLY est retour !
Votre journée pourrait vous rapporter $100,000 !
Time to get fat ! Boys n girls !

It is the LAW to keep your Elephant on Leash

It is the LAW to keep your Elephant on Leash... and it is also the LAW to pick up after it. The retail tenants are getting really pissed off... apparently, the Football size Dumbo steam cakes are hurting business by 47.36%

Karaoke Web Cam - ABBA

Technology fallen into the wrong hands...

Family Vacation : Florida Seaworld

God damn animals.... they're barely human !!!

Pat Cooper - Spaghetti Sauce & Other Delights

I don't care if the contents Suck.... I'm buying this Record ... Never judge a book by it's cover... but you can do that with records & CDs

Sunday, September 28, 2008

B.Y.O.F.E. - (Bring Your Own Fire Extinguisher)

Saturday nights will never be boring again with her around... !
Parrtttaayyyyyy !!

MORTAL COMBAT Monkeys !!!!

Whatever he's about to do... it won't be as epic as ripping the loser's spinal cord right out... that's how I remembered that game anyways...

Toxic waste can turn our oceans into Penis wonderland

Metals and slowly degrading chemicals threaten island and coastal waters. Toxic materials settle into sea-floor sediments where they accumulate as hazards to organisms that live in and feed on bottom muds. Eventually, long lasting chemicals may enter the food web and contaminate the sea life and slowly morph them into sea penises.
Penis eel, penis octopus, penis clam, penis whale and penis bass ?!!! AND a treasure chest filled with colorful penises ?!!
Please stop polluting the ocean.. people !