Monday, December 22, 2008

All I want for X'mas is a korean guy that sings mariah carey !

I wish he's a cross dressing act... those that paints their face with make up and a big wig on one side and a mustache on the other with short hair... that would make my wish come true....

Denis says: (4:45:27 PM)
oh shit

Friday, December 5, 2008

HOLY FUCK !!!! THIS IS IT !! Best Craigslist post EVER !!!

thank god he clarified it, I was worried about the crab meat being bad, that's the most crucial thing for these 4 am non gay mutual touching in basement with train set meets in Philly...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Give this guy a 50% raise !!! NOW !!!

Words can't describe how great this billboard is....

A Early Merry X'mas to all !!!

..... and a happy new year...
Dog : "I wish I was still in the dog pound"

Monday, December 1, 2008

Rick rolled .... live ! A+A+A+A+A+A+A+A+ (ebay rating)

So, how come Nötlé hasn't been updating his blog lately ... you may ask ? well... CAUSE THE INTERNET SUCKED BALLS the past few weeks !!! But hold on to your seats... finally something worthy to be posted here.... Check it out !!!
Poor guy... basically Hasselhoffed himself.... (at the point of his career.... making fun of himself to pay the bills)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Big girls don't cry....

Can someone score me the sheet music and the chord progression for this sweet tune ?!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Leaked Boston Bruins practice video

Damn that Marc Savard... still can't understand that hand passes are illegal....

Thursday, November 13, 2008

New marketing campaign for Organ Donors

But I heard she was a big fan of this drink call the Roofie Colada....... I scored and I didn't have to lose a lung !

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Free Salad bowl express hair cut with Wrestling ticket

$13 saving on his monthly hair cut got Bob extra pumped for the wrestling match

Zoom Lense and camauflage outfit test shots = Success

"I swear to god, I dropped that quarter right around here"

NFL vs CFL : Fans department comparison

So, NFL vs CFL...
There are definitely some issues upon which I cannot even pretend to have an opinion. But I can pick a clear winner here just based on Exhibit A below...
"We need a 4th down !!!"

Nötlé Crew health news : Listening to music to help you sleep

Listen to music to help you sleep
Forget counting sheep, next time you are having trouble dropping off to sleep try putting on a jazz CD.
Researchers have shown just 45 minutes of relaxing music before bedtime can make for a restful night.
The Taiwanese researchers studied the sleeping patterns of 60 elderly people with sleep problems.
They told the Journal of Advanced Nursing, how the technique was easy to learn and lacked the side-effects of other treatments.
The study participants were either given a choice of music to listen to before going to sleep or nothing at all.
The music group were able to choose from six tapes that featured soft, slow music - around 60-80 beats per minute - such as jazz, folk or orchestral pieces.
Listening to music caused physical changes that aided restful sleep, including a lower heart and respiratory rate, the researchers found.

Album on sale at selected local Uncle Willy's

Wow.... apparently, the front man is in a WHOLE lot of pain !

This dude doesn't have a record deal yet... but we're waiting...

Reason #7 why some parents are not allowed to go to Parents-Teachers night

Nutrition Facts : Banana (1 cup, mashed - 225g)

Calories - 200
Total Fat - 1g
Cholesterol - 0mg
Sodium - 2mg
Total Carbohydrate - 51g
Dietary Fiber - 6g
Sugars - 28g
Protein - 2g
Vitamin A - 3% of daily recommended intake
Vitamin C - 33% of daily recommended intake
Calcium - 1% of daily recommended intake
Iron - 3% of daily recommended intake

Saturday, November 8, 2008

If there's something strange.... in your neighbourhood.... who ya gonna call ?!

By far the second greatest movie franchaise from the 80s... Nothing can top Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles !

Friday, November 7, 2008

Buy half a dozen of hog dog buns, get free mouse...

At least it's not another Jesus face on potato chips... give me a break here !

Thursday, November 6, 2008

I've been searching for a Video of a goat licking a electric fence for a while now... today is my lucky day !

Whatever this S&M electric thing that this goat is into ..... I will never understand.. at least not anytime soon.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

WOOH !!!! OK. ok.. !! I take it back.... Your sister isn't a slut... she's not !!

Dirty babe.... you see these shackles, baby I'm your whale.... I'll let you feed me if I misbehave....

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Secret Lamborghinis gararge.... Of course 3 is not enough !!! You welfare peasants !!

GRRRrrrrr !!!! That's like my batcave of porn !!! except it's outdoors...

Red Bull gives your football book picker wings !!

OK, here's the deal.. I will pay twice what you're asking for next week's picks.... can you throw in a bag of whatever you're smoking ?

Damn you Tampa Bay minor league Rays !!

Oh well, at least this happened.. oh man.. that made me laugh..

Come and meet your new neighbour !

What a charming old man, I do respect his brutal honesty... at least he's not a liar... (I think)... ok fine... some people DO belong in jail.

OH YA ?! I bet my Dad can sew better than YOUR DAD !!

Truly awesome outfit... Oh.. and it works for Halloween too... but if I was that kid, I'd just sport this daily... till I turn 21... make fun of him and this bad motherfucker will kill you with his laser !

Inspirational Posters copy writing at it's finest...

Senior care givers for hire - Available 6 to 11pm nightly

Beth and Rose, whatever you do... don't let grandma talk you into giving her alcohol....

The Hawaiian Stevie Wonder... P.H.A.T phat...

What ukulele ?! That's a full size guitar !

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Aids... help control your appetite and let you get back to being skinny !

Don't take diet pills anymore !!.......Thanks Aids !!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

The Human Tornado (1976) ... this is serious business

I sure hope this film is as exciting as the trailer... minus the :25 black dick rolling down the hill scene.... This crazy black dude hops over walls like those old school kung fu movies... this is better cause he's doing it while sporting an afro..

Go Team !! One for childhood obesity...

Umm.. I feel like a cheese burger... who's in ?
P.S. keep up the good work.. creepy fat kid....

PIMP your PC, episode #6 - Pets on your monitor

Kitty won't stop taunting me with his cat balls... so what if they are 5 times larger than mine ! At least I don't shit in a box of sand !!!

Reason #23 why I miss highschool : Field Trips

Sometimes, you really have to dig deeper if you want the truth...

Nuttiest costume by far....

If someone knows how I can get my hands on these nuts.... let me know. (not in a gay way.. I need something to wear for halloween)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Funniest T Shirt EVER !!!!! EVER !!!!!!


Friday, October 17, 2008

Who wears.. short shorts.....

Uncle Pete refused to follow his parole officer's orders and insisted on hanging out at the park last sunday.

Bank Robbing for children 101, page 5

What ?! your mother never knit one for you ? That just means that she never loved you... and probably never will !!! What !! Stop crying !!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Gaaahh Gaaahh Gaaaahhhh Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

Reason #9 why I love the olympics

Hi Ho... Hi Ho... Off to work we go....

With so much talent and experience.... Paulie has always thought that his job was restricting his personal growth.... oh, screw his career... where the hell do you buy those bed sheets you call t shirts ?!!

Chocolate Rain... flood the classroom floor the other day (with poo water)

Why did you come home early today, Jonny ?! are you skipping class again ?!!! No... there's poo water all over the classroom...
"Go to your room Jonny !!!"

Septic tank goes "BOWEIUROIEWNOVHWEO!!!" during Algebra

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Too bad Pole Vault was not judged on Artistic Impression

I would give this a 11 out of 10 ! Buddy wins gold .... ouch

Lab Coats : Make your job seem important instantly

So what if you make $250,000 a year at your job !?? Do you get to wear a lab coat like me ?!!

The new freakishly life-like sex doll... also great with pets

For that and other reasons, this is by far the best $5000 + tax I have spent this year....

God damn warning should be in a Larger font !

Note to self #1 : remember to read all the warnings before operating with tools !
Note to self #2 : remember to pick up more ice packs....

Remember me ? Ladies ?!! I'm BACK !!!

FAIL ?!!! only if it's Opposite day !!! What a cool fish on his computer background !

Wooh... I can't top this... WHO can top this ?!!

Based on further inspection on that gang sign.... that "guy" in white was in the same gang as I was (cough) am ... as a matter of fact, we rode the same short bus to school together back in the days. His street name was "Fat Head".

Never gonna Give... Never gonna Give !!!

We've known each other.... for so long... 20 years !! Rick... 20 YEARS !!! and what ?! You're the new BOND now ?!!
Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley (1987)

Uncle Pete wins round 2 ..... somebody dial 911 !

Yes.. everyone out there has a Uncle Pete in their family....

Sunday, October 12, 2008

MacDonalds Dollar Menu Millionaire... Crack is helluva drug !

God dayyyummm.. this guy is annoying !!!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Come on Barbie, Let's go Party. Huh HA Huuhh.. yeah !

I Love you Barbie !! I Love you Ken !

Friday, October 10, 2008

Edward does Graffitti.... Gansta !

Tre Semmé® ... Tre Semmé®... Uhh La Laaa !

Imagine falling asleep on this HAIRCAKE.... OK.. I want to throw up... !!

Dear Miriam : My husband wears my underwear

Now Press the Red Button

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Nötlé Crew's Bad Dog of the Day - English Bull Terrier

Oh My Gawd... that wasn't on the brochure !!

2008 Election Marketing Campaign at it's finest

OK fine, those are indeed 2 very strong points..... 2 votes for that black dude running for president from me !

GAME ON !!! October 9th '08

Let's go Oilers !! and Canucks too...

Dress Code for Funerals... not like this !

Oh god... once again !!! We are not suppose to wear WHITE for a Funeral !!!!

Destiny's Child from the 60s

"Dirty", "Nasty" & "Filthy" sing their hearts out on their 2nd album... inappropriately named "Jesus Use Me".

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Heartache and Pain.... Don't Touch Me !

Now Press the Red Button

Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach.....

Oh my.... what pretty blue eyes you have... sure, I would make out with you if you weren't covered in shit..... uhhhh... who am I kidding... fine.. just 5 minutes !

Nintendo Wii : Mr Burn approves

2 birds 1 cup .... without the cup

Remember not to have your mouth open when you're looking up... kids... or when you are picking up soap in jail either... cover your ass and keep your mouth close

Men DO make the strangest requests !

OK, you see the red button on the right side of this page ?... press it

AHHH !!!!!! I'm done with Internet Dating !

No... Mandy.... stick to the purple Grimus dress !

Marvel Comic's rejected draft of "Ironman"

Turns out, Ironman was the only housewife series superhero that showed up on time for the convention... Ovenman and Vacuumeboy were no where to be seen at 10 am...

... waiting for complaint letters from the Feminists groups... oh shit.. I can hear Harley Davidsons and Chanting outside... gotta run !

TONS of bikini sluts in California

I'm so glad I bought this beach house in Malibu... such lovely views and literally TONS of friendly slutty neighbours...