Reason #23 why I miss highschool : Field Trips

Sometimes, you really have to dig deeper if you want the truth...

Chocolate Rain... flood the classroom floor the other day (with poo water)

Why did you come home early today, Jonny ?! are you skipping class again ?!!! No... there's poo water all over the classroom...
"Go to your room Jonny !!!"

Septic tank goes "BOWEIUROIEWNOVHWEO!!!" during Algebra

Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach.....

Oh my.... what pretty blue eyes you have... sure, I would make out with you if you weren't covered in shit..... uhhhh... who am I kidding... fine.. just 5 minutes !

It is the LAW to keep your Elephant on Leash

It is the LAW to keep your Elephant on Leash... and it is also the LAW to pick up after it. The retail tenants are getting really pissed off... apparently, the Football size Dumbo steam cakes are hurting business by 47.36%

Poo Helmet....

Poo helmets are useful as safety gear to prevent injuries in an uncontrolled environment. If you can't prevent a crash or impact, but you know it will occur, a poo helmet can prevent or minimize injury to the head and brain.

We can not emphasize enough that the first step in preventing injury is to minimize the probability of crashing or being impacted. Not hitting something hard is infinitely better than hitting with a poo helmet on, but then hitting something with this thing on will look so damn cool.

"The Ladies say Yes cause they can't say No"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Lisa, I baked you a cake !

I'm not going to get into details on how and what process I went through to "make" this cake... but the ingredients were flour, eggs, butter, sugar, cream, Metamucil, prune juice and love .....Happy Birthday !

Ever seen a Rock that shits ? Science IS FUN !

OK, now gather a bucket of those suckers and throw them into your fireplace... buy a good home insurance policy, get a video camera and start filming... contact me when you're done. Uhhh.. I love science... Just hope you don't get cancer or brain damage from the smokes...

Craigslist : Modern day one night stand love story

Phewww... ha ha.. bitch !! Just wait until you use your shampoo to wash your hair... thank god she couldn't remember my name... Who wants to come over for a beer ?!

I have reasons to believe that this is where the Pepto Bismo dance originated from

When you learn other languages, it’s important that you learn popular phrases that you’ll regularly need. For instance, “Where is the nearest bank,” or “I have a bad case of diarrhea.” I really like that they took the learning process one step further and made a song out of it that’s accompanied with a dance. In fact, the next time I have a bad case of diarrhea, I’m going to turn to my co-worker, tell him, and then do this dance and sing the song. That way I’ve covered all my bases.

Notle Crew's survival class: How to survive in a desert with no water in sight

Gatorade should jump on this... "Safari Elephant Mudslide"... come give daddy a kiss.